Something struck a chord in me when a noted medical doctor Lisa Sanders said, “we live in a dirtier and dirtier world, and yet our lives are longer and longer… go figure” in Act Two of This American Life Episode 259. [link] I have been reared to be cautious about the filth out there, but not to be afraid of it.  My mother is a nurse and she’s seen her share of bodily fluid, infections, and the ravaging effects of our infectious world. Compounded with the fact that she grew up in a third-world country, I’ve learned to accept the loathsome miasma that permeates the Troposphere.
So, what inspired this posting you may be asking? I’m a sadistic cad, and despite my own failings, I tend to poke at the vulnerabilities of others. Knowing that Peter from MacBoyx.com/OhMyPod.net has an almost crippling fear of germs, dirt, and general uncleanliness; I knew that I could press his buttons. We shared a hotel room in Chicago-land and I wanted to open his eyes rather than spurning the dirt.
I started out subtly. I did clue him in on the nasty foot funguses that my nomadic friends have picked up in hostels. I tried to point out all the spunk, blood, piss, shit, and spit (a nod to Gilbert and George) that was on every surface. Sadly, he wore sandals to avoid contact with the carpet… and has learned to embrace whatever may be living on the bedspreads. I felt hyperbole would help in the situation. I announced that anything that made contact with the floor, picked up syphilis. I lovingly adopted this from my best gal pal while she lived in New York, because if there is any place in the world where one can contract syphilis from an inorganic surface… it would be Manhattan.
Peter was horrified with the idea, I reveled in his discomfort, but I think the ridiculousness helped him get one step closer to embracing it. I didn’t go as far as to wrestle him to the ground to wallow whatever laid beneath our flip-flops, I was afraid that he’d go into convulsions. Now that I write about it… I think I would have enjoyed that toxic super-freakout. All in all, he’s accepted that “syphilis is everywhere” as proven in OhMyPod episode 104.
Not to be stopped there, while we kvetched over our sojourns home I told him about another pithy expression that my gal pal loves to sling around: The concept that airplanes are just an aluminum fecal tubes bounding through the ether. A small confined space where all conventions of sanitation aren’t strictly followed. I must say… I don’t think he’ll ever get over this fact, and I plan on reminding him that every time he steps onto an airplane — he’s going into a hermetically sealed cloud of scatological vapor.
So, what have we learned here? Don’t ever tell me what your phobias are!
Image provided by Cacetudo @ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Human_Feces.jpg