subconscious attraction

All laws of attraction are null and void when the object of your affection is presented to you in the best possible light and most alluring context… the sex dream. I write about this having the dream on the night before last but still I am puzzled. I have never been attracted to this person, nor do I find them abhorent. Given the blunt nature of the dream, there is no subtext or link to the physical world to discover.

Strangely, the dream leaves me with yearning. I now see this ordinary joe on the street as someone with lustful qualities. I take no issue to this conclusion, though it leaves me with a few questions. Did I have this attraction repressed all along? Could my subconscious package the notion for my rationale to accept? If I could be convinced in my dreams to do misdeeds, could I then be taken to task in the waking world – that is to say go hetero, become a serial-killer, accept anything “fundamentalist”?

confessions of a husky boy: the refrigerator door

I know there is nothing in the refrigerator that I can just pull out and snack on. I know the contents of my refrigerator, it’s emblazoned on my mind. I don’t know if I’m expecting something to catch my eye. I’m not physically hungry, yet every time I walk into the kitchen I open the refrigerator door.

There’s an odd satisfaction or sense of fulfillment that I get from opening the door. My adopted lebanese grandmother – God rest her – had worry beads (سبحة) and she was able to massage all of her unwanted juju into the surface of agate beads. I’ve come to the realization that the refrigerator door handle is the husky boy’s worry beads. I don’t have to eat, I don’t have to cook, I just grab the door handle;  when it feels right… food.

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