ode on a ceramic mug

(sorry to all John Keates fans out there)

I’m looking out my window, sipping coffee out of mug sporting an expressionless snowman – save for its forced merriment indicated by its outstretched arms drawn on by its creator. Other times of the year, this isn’t considered; the mug is strictly utilitarian – tall, ceramic, and connected to a large handle for mornings where the pall of last night’s drinking has rendered your hands and brain useless. There is no point for me to ponder the grim grey of morning living an average first world life but they are all just hanging above my head.

snowman mug

– Work has been a bother with all the executives scrambling to get their yearly goals done. Everyone is rushing and project managers are setting unrealistic time lines. I should be grateful for having a job in such a depressed state economy.

– Money, a product from all that work that I’ve been doing. I work to fill my house with soul-less decorations and hollow gifts to put into peoples hands.

– Death. I’ve been spending my quiet time pondering my birthday and why I’m not going to die underneath my own self-diagnosed brilliance like Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, or Kurt Cobain. Amrozi told me that “After 28 it’s all down hill”, I know it was said in jest but the ring of truth just resonates.

– Holidays… despite my discreetness I am expected to make appearances at holiday parties. I haven’t been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder but if I was I’d pin that to a sweater or a jacket as my holiday outfit. Like the snowman on my mug, I just want to get this over this season so I can go back to being a regular vessel for coffee.

reduce, reuse, retreat?

Sitting and chatting in my living room

niece #1: I heard a colonic takes a few days

me: Nah, you can knock it out in a few hours. It’s a fill and flush three times. Your sister has had one and said she felt slimmer for days.

niece #1: No shit

me: exactly

Picking up a niece at the airport

me: Sorry I was late. Are you cold?

niece #2: No, I’m fine

me: I was expecting to see you in a white pashmina and jeans

niece #2: Oh, that’s so 5 years ago

me: Please, if it were a renewable fabric or if you could turn the garment back to the manufacturer so it could be turned into another garment, it would be en vogue. Green is the new black.

niece #2: Hmm good to know

Kitchen

snuff: Hon, can you get that large bowl from the basement.

me: Why? This is your people’s holiday.

snuff: Just get it.

me: No, this is your people’s holiday (making my way to the basement door).

snuff mom: Are you going to eat with us?

me: Yes! (from the stairwell)

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