I have a prejudice against Las Vegas. There’s the “something for nothing” attitude and all of that excess which goes against all the hard-earned money ethos that was hammered into me by my parents. So, when Snuff and I were talking about a our friend’s honeymoon plans, I got defensive… in my own passive aggressive way.
Me: “Las Vegas? How cliche.”
Snuff: “What do you want? She’s 100% Polish (American) and he’s 100% Italian (American) where else would they go?”
Me: “Austria?”
Apropos of clearly nothing, my dear friend Roseld sent me a most wonderful and somewhat rare gift.  A mint condition children’s backpack from licensed with Binney & Smith’s trademark, Crayola.  The elation from sheer uniqueness of which I am still getting over was tempered by the fact that there was no way that I could strap this onto my back, nor do I have the charity to give this to a deserving child.
A need to change laptop bags and a purchase of a ridiculously expensive luxury bag gave me a great idea to finally use the backpack.  I purchased hardware and polyester seatbelt material and fashioned a strap.  I looped the squared O-rings through the arms of the backpack.  No sewing or altering of the backpack was needed; I didn’t want to spoil or alter it in any way.  Gravity and the weight of the contents of the bag keep the shoulder strap in place, et voila – one of a kind laptop case that even a hipster would have to be envious of.
Late one evening, we were chatting with our straight friends over the objet d’art and the chotzkies in our home. We complained about the overflowing cupboards full of dishes, glasses, cups, and pottery; yet Snuff and I talked about the junk stores and the art fairs that we frequent. In the self-deprecation I blurted out “we’re such crockery fags”, and the expression stuck.
Our crockery fag day started today with a lovely brunch, a drive in the park, and then a quick trip to Pewabic Pottery [link].
Amy Wolfe (Student) Not For Sale
Pewabic Pottery
Then I found these pieces which I found cool but I’m not posting the artist nor the price. Go into Pewabic to see for yourself, they’re brilliantly $$$.
I inherited a certain frugality which I didn’t think was all too sensible until I started shopping for myself; I don’t carry around a change purse like mom does. I’m not worried about being cheated; I was horrified to find a certain generation of Dutch people counting up the contents of their wallet before and after paying for anything. My desire to avoid bringing out the stinginess of my dining companions outweighs the scrutiny of splitting up a dinner bill.
My money hang up is about pennies, they are a fun challenge to spend and paying cash helps me stick to a budget. For those shops that I deem cash-only I make sure I have four pennies to ensure that I don’t receive pennies back as change. Please, if you do not understand why I carry around four pennies or do not understand consumer math, you can stop reading this blog post now.
Scenario 1
Bill: $14.19 – I tender $20.04. Expected change $5.85
Here’s the unintentional grift. When handing the pennies over to the cashier, one penny manages to drop and fall into the checkout conveyor belt. Feeling bad, the cashier fishes out a dime from his own pocket and enters that I paid $20.13. I received $5.94. A profit of$0.09
Scenario 2
Bill $13.67 – I tender $20.02. Expected change $6.35
This one is a just a bit more dishonest. I originally handed over $20.02. I then realized that I had $0.67 and thought of handing it to the cashier but since she was already going through the till, I said “never mind” unknowingly setting off the grift.
The receipt officially says $13.67 billed, $20 tendered. $6.33 is handed back to me and I asked why I got pennies back. The cashier assumed that “never mind” applied to the two cents I handed her.
Apologetically, she hands back the two cents AS WELL AS $0.35, completely forgetting that she already handed me $0.33. A total of $6.70, a profit of $0.45